Literally millions of ordinary, working-class Ruthenians, Sub-Carpathians and Uzbek billionaires have taken one look at the British government's citzenship test and said "Ffycs this, mun, I's going to become a Welsh!" And we in Cymru Rouge are only too happy to have them as a counterbalance to the waves of Brummie white-flighters, Giro smack-heads and hey-nonny fans of everything Celtic (except Welsh) who clutter up our slate-laden land.
Nonetheless, standards is standards, so the Edjucation (and Fighting) Committee of the Cymru Rouge Great Angka (myself, Ta Moq, Huw Samphan and Paul Pot), have devised a series of questions to assess the suitability of these massed huddlers for Welsh citizenship, bringing as it does many rights as well as obligations.
So here's the first section. Watch this video, and answer the following questions:
1. Is Charles Bukowski a Welsh?
2. Is Rheinallt H Rowlands right to want to be like him?
3. The countryside in the video lies near Llanfihangel-y-Pennant. Which side of the road should Rheinallt be driving on?
4. Those Welsh girls look lovely, don't they?
5. But what if they're dirty?
6. How come Rheinallt has such a lovely deep Welsh voice if his pods don't look like they've dropped yet?
7. What will Rheinallt's mam say when she gets hold of him?
Answers will be assessed and sentences passed in the coming week.
1. Yes but not a natural Welsh speaker.
ReplyDelete2. Anything would seem to be better than being Rheinallt H Rowlands.
3. Trick question! There is only one side.
4. Oes.
5. Diolch yn fawr.
6. Drinking Tovali pop from a young age.
7. Sgleinio fel ceilliau ci.
Croeso. By being the first happlicant you will, if successful, also be awarded the Order of the Charred Lung of Llwchwr (II Class), previously worn by Minister of War and Chairman of the Miss Welsh Selection Board, Iago Anffawd (fab Gwil Goll).
ReplyDeleteI only know the answers to 4 and 5, but I'm not that fussed about being Welsh. Tom Jones is an honorary gorilla, so we've already got a finger in that pie.
ReplyDelete1. He drank himself to death like one.
ReplyDelete2. Judging by this performance, yes.
3. The side without the sheep.
4. Mmm.
5. Mmmmmmm.
6. He's sampling Bryn Terfel.
7. Paham mae dicter, O Reinhallt, or something similarly Welch.
Mr Bananas,
ReplyDeleteOur axis is strong. Forget not the other ape-Wales link of old:
http://alfanalf.blogspot.com/2006/10/walesfact-no3-monkey-myth.html
Vossa Excelência,
ReplyDeleteI can say in advance that your sampling of "Myfanwy" and use of the correct spelling of Welsh push you up the slag-heap of aspiration already.
1. No, just a drunk tosser
ReplyDelete2. See above
3. Take any side you like, there's nobody around
4. Oh yes
5. See answer to 3
6. He went to stage school, see
7. Stop being a poncey actor and get a proper job, see
Zalotocky, Witamy! You're in.
ReplyDeleteWell I guess I would count as a 'Brummie white-flighters, Giro head' not that you can throw stones as you life in my promised land! ;)
ReplyDeleteHopefully you can make up for our brain drain.
1. No (but I liked the answer 'He drank himself to death like one.')
2.Any nation should be proud to have him on there team. So ofcourse.
3. The left assuming the road is wide enough.
4. Yes- Welsh girls are lovely.
5. I'm a dirty punk so who would i be to critise. Their Lovely, they are Welsh girls.
6. You lot can be a funny bred.
7. Well done boyo your better than Tom Jones.
James Walsh
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