Danny Boyle did himself proud, I'm sure, but only if his show featured:
- Steptoe & Son;
- couples taking their dogs for romantic weekends in Cotswold hotels;
- Mrs T trailing a bottle of Bells about her bedroom, wearing slippers made of Argies and miners;
- students trying to force down a Guinness;
- Ollie Reed mumbling an apology to an understanding Eddie Izzard;
- pink-eyed kids marching down a Newcastle street, playing kazoos;
- synchronised tutting;
- Sir Sean Connery wearing one of the Scottish man-skirts, pissed on a Marbella beach;
- The Question Time audience waking up in Iran;
- Shaky wrestling Richard out of Richard & Judy; and
- Edward VIII finding out the hard way that Wallis Simpson was a man.
All narrated by the ghost of John Osborne. Anything less, and we might as well be westerly Dutchmen.