Sunday, April 18, 2010


20 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

A Pottist victory is just what people need, not just in Wales but in the whole of Britain.

"Those who have not suffered can never be wise."

No Good Boyo said...

Wise words, GB, and compassionate too. They remind me of what our founder, Morthwyl ap Ffistan once said at the ceremonial demolition of Brithdir Primary School: "A left hook if you reads a book."

The benefits of Cymru Rouge rule are so evident that we feel little need to set out a manifesto, but one will nonetheless follow once I fit the slate into the Remington.

"Slate in My Remington" - it sounds like the forced cheeriness of a supply teacher's memoir of un saison en Blaenau Ffestiniog.

Francis Sedgemore said...

Plaid Cymru are, like, so completely fucked (a dim jyst ym Mlaunau Ffycin Ffestiniog).

Brit said...

Will you be fielding a candidate in Bristol East?

inkspot said...

Sinn Fein used to field candidates who would promise not to take their seats. This was the only good idea generated by that bunch of murderous psychopaths and other parties should borrow it, despite the taint of its origins.

Taffy "Taffhead" Jones said...

I just want to make it clear that Helen Mary is no relation. Are you planning a post on Plaid totty, Boyo? There seems to be precious little of it from where I'm sitting (possibly because my arse comfortably seated in London).

No Good Boyo said...

Y Blaid stands no chance against Y Blaidd, Francis.

Interesting point, Brit. We Rouges have long eyed Bristol as a possible early conquest in our Drang nach Osten, but are divided into three halves as to what to call it:

1. The modernisers want to call your fair city "Bryste", as it is known in contemporary Welsh.

2. The traditionalists want to call it Caer Odo (Fort Otto), the old Welsh name.

3. The maximalists want to call it Re-Edjucation Camp No 17 in the Name of Martyr Cerys Matthews, as usual.

Once we've sorted that out through the usual full and frank exchange of mattocks we'll see which of your candidates to endorse. He must support full Welsh independence, and by full we mean independent of everything - gravity, sunshine, the lot. Watch this space.

Inky, our approach is unlike that of our Stalinist Hibernian rivals. We will not stand, but promise to take all the seats if we can.

Pendaff, that's a challenge I'll try to rise to. I recall Leanne Wood scrubs up well enough, but she's no match for the Cymru Rouge's own Minister of Culture (designate), Lisa Scott-Lee out of Steps.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Simple, effective electioneering - who needs debate? Apparantly the latest Good vs. Evil tiff The Clash of the Titans was filmed in a Welsh slate quarry - as were Willow, Ken Russell's Mahler and Carry On Up The Kyber, come to think of it - so you've not far to go for a photoshoot if you want to lend your campaign a bit more gravitas.

No Good Boyo said...

Khyber was filmed at Tanygrisiau, near my hometown of Dolgellau, Gadjo. Not only does it look like Afghanistan, but the local enthusiasm for Calvinist Methodism ("Because for us, Calvinism just isn't grim enough.") gives it a general Talibanny feel.

Francis Sedgemore said...

"…the local enthusiasm for Calvinist Methodism ("Because for us, Calvinism just isn't grim enough.") gives it a general Talibanny feel."

Boyo's not joking here. You wouldn't believe the trouble you can get into if you put your washing out on a Sunday. And not just in northern Wales. Even in relatively Bohemian Aberystwyth the presbyterian ayatollahs have yet to be fully vanquished by the forces of enlightenment profanity.

Brit said...

Re-Edjucation Camp No 17 in the Name of Martyr Cerys Matthews, BS1, is it?

Well sooner that than the Lib Dems I suppose. You can rely on my vote.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

I was in Ilfracombe once when the Welsh invaded on a day trip. Orrible it was. One of their women (I think it was) lying in the street drunk, the local plods had to come and take her away. A 50-year old giant crab shell adorning a pub wall was gone the next morning. Smashed it, they did. Wicked. I'll never go there again.

No Good Boyo said...

Indeed to goodness, Francis, Nearby Borth has the distinction of the last Sabbatarian attack on golfers, when local Savanorolas stoned English visitors who dared to tee off on a Sunday. That was in the 1920s. My mother was barracked by some old biddies for knitting in her garden on a Sunday morning in the 1940s. Still, i suppose it's not as bad as raping choirboys.

Brit, vote Cymru Rouge and you need never vote again. We have an offshore detention facility for both Liberals and Democrats. Offshore, underwater and without walls.

Daphne, you had encountered the Merched Y Wawr Women's Battalion of Death, the Cymru Rouge's shock troops, on a mission to reassert the Welsh claim to the southwest (Mid Wales, as we call it).

The giant crab shell was in fact half of the tanned testicle of Euros Tronrydd, an earlier Cambrian explorer who tried to circumnavigate the Bristol Channel by inflating his own danglers as a buoyancy device. They say he discovered Somerset before a herring gull popped his pods.

Gaw said...

I have to take my hat off to your presentational skills - I've never seen such delight taken in a horse's skull, at least by what seem to be normal people.

No Good Boyo said...

You've been out of Wales too long, Gaw. Step back across the troll border and pick your way through the children clad in suits of bone.

Gyppo Byard said...

Will you join forces temporarily with the Acting Witan of Mercia (go look them up - bearded buffoons to a man, but better than being ruled from London by posh tossers) to rebuild Offa's Dyke as an impermeable* barrier? Think of the benefits to both sides!

*Except for the secret tunnels run illegally at a handsome profit by marchers as per border tradition...

No Good Boyo said...

The Witan are our partners in bloodshot atavism, Gyppo. Now that we've settled our differences at your suggestion, we're looking for a new ethnic group to bully. Now what's that parked in the lay-by...

Stay-At-Home Indie-Pop said...

How's it looking for Thursday? Cymru Rouge as kingmaker? Serving of Slatorade mandatory in bars across Britain by Friday?

No Good Boyo said...

Some seek a hung parliament. We seek a hanged parliament. Maoism - it really is that violent.

Otherwise we are waiting for the masses to rise up in protest at their corrupt and venal rulers, and then sit down again and let us get on with it.

As Nemesis the Warlock said: "Be clean, Be pure, Behave." He's our candidate in Maidenhead, by the way.

inkspot said...

Boyo after all these years, can you type Maidenhead without giggling?

I've voted btw. Not Cameron, he gives us posh boys a bad name.