Saturday, October 14, 2006


There's all sorts as go on holiday, and the House of Boyo is one of them. Unlike you fuxin peasants, however, we have a house abroad in the hancestral homeland of Mrs Boyo and Dustin Hoffman, what is Ukraine.

I can't recommend Ukraine too highly as a place or idea, so go and find out yourselves. Kyiv is the city Cardiff would have been if The Labour hadn't cacked on Zaha Hadid's plan for an hopera house/arms dump instead of that Mileniwm Stadium no one bothers to use. All we've got left is a Dr Who set, Clwb Ifor Bach and Lord Elis-Thomas's Tlws of Destiny. In Lviv they still worship the King-Emperor Francis Joseph I, and eagerly await the coming of the II though he may tarry.

The food is plentiful and deep-fried, drink is given away by policemen at the gibbet-decked crossroads, porn is compulsory on all 876 TV channels from lunchtime, and the entire female population aged 18-40 think that American kickboxing flicks are a guide to fashion. Gwych.

On top of that, vodka addiction has turned 150 million Russians into a dwarf-saluting bunch of noseless trolls, but for Ukrainians that just isn't enough. Instead, they add paprika and horse radish (that's chrayne to you and me) to give it a bit of a kick. Sinus problems and the ability to perform simple mental addition become things of the past.

To sample all of this, I can recommend Khatynka (see photograph - and hat tip to The Lord Stent) on Velyka Vasilkivska, Kyiv, where the staff will give you a warm welcome and complimentary mouse. I gave mine to an obliging Uzbek lady who'd followed me in.


Gorilla Bananas said...

Hey, Mr Boyo, they're slagging off the Welsh here. Pitch in lad.

No Good Boyo said...

Ta for the tip, mun. I'll sorts these ante-bellum julep-sippers shortly.

No Good Boyo said...

Done and done:

Dies Irae: In your Sunday Irae Magazine this week

Gorilla Bananas said...

Well done, Mr Boyo. We gorillas don't approve of disrespect to the Welsh because of Tom Jones, who's an honorary gorilla. I draw the line at druidism though.

No Good Boyo said...

Use welcome, mun, and big up for seeing off that Sigourney Wheaver and David Attenborough. Druids are a bad thing, and I'll post the definitive guide this week. Hwyl.