Sunday, June 29, 2008

Elephant Talk


A conversation at The Tethered Goat this lunchtime:

Boyo: You going to The Glade this year?

The K Man: Dunno. Weather was terrible last year. Would've have flooded my wellies if I'd had any. It was like the Somme, man. Like Stalingrad.

Boyo: I think the problem at Stalingrad wasn't the rain so much as the cold.

K Man: Ah, so it wasn't that bad after all!

Boyo: And Von Paulus and his men weren't charged £30 a head for getting in, either.

K Man: Thirty quid!?! More like £125!

All history is contemporary.

8 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

I don't know what to believe about Stalingrad. I made the mistake of once reading a book by a Russian defector called 'Viktor Suvorov', who was clearly bonkers. I do believe that tickets to that music festival cost £125 though. Why would he lie about that?

No Good Boyo said...

Your doubts are justified, GB. If a Russian told me I had two knackers I'd still check my trousers at a convenient moment.

The late Suvorov's views on The Glade remain a matter of conjecture, but The K Man is incapable of deceit, guile or adequate preparation for predictable weather. What I can't glean from watching Withnail & I and Animal House I simply address to him, and return a wiser, drunker man.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

But surely you can't outdrink a medium-sized Russian?

Gadjo Dilo said...

The Glade sounds like the sort of festival where you could simply think yourself there. Completely free, gratis and for nothing!

No Good Boyo said...

Snoop, la France entière could not outdrink a medium-sized Russian, but I've had a go. Some of the consequences have been, in no particular order:

alcohol poisoning,
jumping down a 20ft hole,
sleeping in a tree,
riding naked up and down the lifts at the Moscow Film Institute at 0200 am,
smearing a room with jam, and giving an impassioned and well-received speech in Azeri - a language I do not know.

Sometimes I miss the place.

Gadjo, The Glade experience can be re-created by sitting in a pond with a nose full of baking powder while someone plays dance music 1/4mile away in a tent made out of your wallet.

Gyppo Byard said...

I didn't even try to outdrink a large Armenian the other week. The pot plant behind me did strikingly well...

rhodes said...
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rhodes said...
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