Iron Chancellor Otto von Bismarck said "Politics is the art of the possible". Irn-Bru Chancellor Gordon Brown must interpret this as meaning "Do what thou Wilt", as he has nudged Dads' Favourite Caroline Flint mewling through the Cabinet catflap and settled Glenys Kinnock in her silken basket as Minister of Europe.
This means I need to issue some urgent clarification. Readers of this web blog may have noticed that I have:
- Consistently alledged that Baroness Kinnock of Lle Chwech's middle name is "Bloody";
- Intimated that she is a scrum-guzzling nymphomaniac;
- Relished the prospect of her being molested by Nicaraguan "Contra" desperadoes;
- Advocated her life incarceration on Bardsey Island;
- Accused her affable, unlettered husband of handing Britain over to La Thatch as part of a long-standing nationalist plot;
- Jeered at her son's persecution by Russian spooks; and
- Obliged prostitutes to wear Glenys masks while giving me a Brazilian.
- The Minister of Defence is in charge of putting our feral youth in tanks and pointing them at the Taleban;
- The Minister of Health tries to keep superbugs safely isolated in hospitals; and
- The Minister of Education hands out 'A' levels or whatever to anyone who makes it to 18 without falling foul of the said ministers of defence and health.
I would therefore propose to Lady Kinnock a hudna - the kind of ceasefire favoured by Hamas. The Cymru Rouge pledges not to refer to her manifest evil or idiot family very much if she in turn promises not to make us spend the autumn in Berkshire.
She reads The Guardian. She'll appreciate our sincerity.