Thursday, October 11, 2007

Электрические ли друзья?


I for one am delighted to have people of all races, class, creeds, genders and species visit my web blog. It makes a pleasant change from the months of silence when even I didn't bother writing anything on it.

Only yesterday we saw our first guest from Africa; from the Sherifian Kingdom of Morocco to be exact - marhaba, ya habibi! I trust you did not reach us via a Google search on "Charlotte Church custad bukkake" as did a young visiter from the United Arab Emirates.

Mrs Boyo, however, has not been slow to put my euphoria into some sort of rational perspective. She raised red, Caligulan eyes from her copy of The Intelligence of Evil long enough to say "The Inter Net is a living, alien organism. It senses your pathetic, Silurian longings, and manufactures little friends to post on your site. They no more exist than do human pity, compassion or that Brithdir Wife-Swapping Society you're always going on about. Read this!"

She tossed a copy of Stanislaw Lem's Solaris into my pen, and let me get on with it.

I'm easily alarmed and confused, not least of all by my own clothing, but the diary of this Polish cosmonaut was a chilling revelation. Mrs Boyo insists it's science fiction, but I'm not so certain.

All science fiction books have so far come true - Brave New World, Planet of the Apes (book, not the film), Minority Report; you take your pick - all except for Colin Wilson's seminal "Topless Lady Space-Vampires from Outer Space". And that's only a matter of time.

20 comments:

M C Ward said...

Somebody reached my post entitled, "Wunking at girls" through a Google search on "horse wunking videos" (this is utterly sans irony). All are welcome at my place, even illiterate bestiali, as long as they keep my hit count turning over.

How do you explain your fixation with all things east of the Urals? Could you have been reincarnated, and if so, what horrors did you commit in your previous life that resulted in you coming back as a Welsh?

Lucien Modo said...

Ah the snake charmers of Djamaa el Fna, and the chicken and lemon tajine at Chegrouni...

Did 'Space Balls' come true?

Emerald Bile said...

The Morocco is me, you monkey. I live there
Noreen

No Good Boyo said...

Well, you all seem mighty real to me, especially you, Noreen. People should read your blog and thus understand how to achieve that world peace they're always gabbing on about.

Lucien, Space Balls is a film, not a book. It's time has not yet come. I used to have my pipe tobacco mixed by Fath Ali of 69, Rue des Souspires, just behind Djamaa el Fna, before the excisemen stopped handling it. A 60% rum Latakia blend with 35% tear-soaked perique, it was recommended to me - that and so much more - by Dr Conrad Latto, quondam secretary of the Association of Unlicensed Practitioners (Liege) and author of "Achmed, un Fils du Rif" (Editions du Crépuscule, Bruxelles, 1964).

MC, a glance at my sitemeter suggests Mrs Boyo's passing reference to wife-swapping has done my hit rate no harm at all. East of the Urals lie grinning Esquimaux, X-Files location scouts and the mouldering remains of various Romanovs. Ukraine, however, is where Mrs Boyo began her reign of terror and won me at the gaming table.

Mrs Boyo said...

Fool. I think Solaris was a prediction of the artificial intelligence that is the Blogosphere, whichcreates reflections of your brain activity and throws them back in your face for its own entertainment.

Alex Case said...

And to think I started a blog to try and get away from my imaginary friends...

Stay-At-Home Indie-Pop said...

I note that putting the label 'horny housewives' on my own latest blog entry was enough to bring no good boyo back to sniff around. See you all over there.

No Good Boyo said...

Thank you, Pop. You have no idea how much domestic trouble you've got me into now. Still, the mention of "wife-swapping" brought me a brief visit from a chap in Chippenham, to whom I can send a map of Brithdir and a list of local chemists if he'd like to get in touch.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Do beware of visitors from North Africa, Boyo. About a year ago I put up a post mentioning in passing the glorious leader of the People's Jamarahiya of Libya. Shortly afterwards I noticed I had a silent visitor from Tripoli. As a test I then put up another post mentioning the same handsome and highly intelligent head of state in glowing terms. Visitor was there again. I then removed post and all previous references to that gorgeous hunk that is running Libya. No more visits.

Wally Windsor said...

Are friends electric - in Russian?! I think this boyo chap is one of Putin's stooges - tvoy mat'!!

No Good Boyo said...

Tvoyu mat' tozhe, mudak, and welcome to my web blog. To be honest, each encounter with Mr Putin's new, old Russia brings Goons rather than Stooges to mind.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oops. Seems I have missed that point, it appears you already have one. In your lap, too...

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