Monday, October 22, 2007

For Our Ruthenian Reader


Sorry for the lack of posts. My head is farshtopt mit possibilities, and it's gummed up my hands like the mouth of a Piccadilly pansy. In the meantime, I have a literary announcement for our Ruthenian and Sub-Carpathian reader.

Czytajte szvidko, zabuvajte zavsze!

Vyshla nova knyzhka zloricznoho anhlyys'ko-amerkyanks'koho pismenchyka Yjanu Plenderlyt'ju (Ian Plenderleith) czeszkoju movoju, z jakoj-toj prychyny. Linkolnskyj xlopczyk maye dvy nohy y tylki jednuu hlavu, szczo ridke v tomu centri krovozmishennja y kultusu Cthulhu (Iä, Iä!). Tematyka je pilkanyzhka y neuspyxa v koxannjy, yoho druzi durenyczni y mat' mat' mat'!

"For Whom The Ball Rolls" zasluhaje pevnu uvahu y Politzyjy, i psyxyatrycznyx doslizhen'. Centralnist' pilkanyzhky v anhlyys'koj svitskoj zhyttj'ja namnoho poyasnjuje rozpid Brytanskoji Ymperyjy y vvspyx lezbianizmusu posryd zhinok Albionu. Dlja toho, Plenderleith meszkaje za kordonom.

Na zhal', tzi czeszki depravnyky vydali knyzhu vpersze v Slavjanskomu sviti. Ale Brevska Vyddruknytztva "Ozhynyk" je rad byty na poczesnomu, druhomu misti, jak zavsze, z svyjym rutens'ko-pidkarpatskom tlumaczinnja tzej vazhkoj knyzhky, pid nadzvyzko "Dlja koho dzvoni tantzjuvalnyj veczir", szob uspili do Zelenix svyt y Ivana Kupala, abo Malanky.

Redaktor Vyddruknytztvy "Ozhynyk"
Bohdan Naxajlo

16 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

"Pid" looks like a funny word. What does it mean in Welsh?

No Good Boyo said...

It means "under" in Ruthenian, GB. I checked with the Welsh Academy, and it has had no meaning assigned to it yet. This makes it a "tupenny whore word", and you can choose to call it what you like. What do you suggest it should mean?

Lucien Modo said...

I applaud your broad knowledge of our eastern European brethren. Metody Jankowiak would like to meet with you at ASDA car park Llanelli this Saturday, say around nine in the evening.

Metody Jankowiak said...

Ja cię kocham
Ja cię lubię
Ja cię nie dam
aż po ślubie.

Metody Jankowiak said...

I give brother a kidney for him to live. Now one year later he drink wodka and drive his car into Olza River at Hrádek. Now I can not but to drink wodka, as I am having one kidney.

Płyniesz, Olzo, po dolinie,
Płyniesz, jak przed laty,
Takie same na twym brzegu
Kwitną wiosną kwiaty.

A twe wody w swoim biegu,
Się nie zamąciły;
I tak samo lśnią się w słońcu,
Jak się dawniej lśniły.

Ale ludzie w życiu swojem
Zmienili się bardzo;
Zwyczajami, wiarą przodków
Ledwie że nie gardzą.

I dąb z dębem na twym brzegu,
Jak szumiał tak szumi;
Lecz wnuk starą mowę dziadów
Ledwie że rozumie.

Na twym brzegu dawnym śpiewem
Słowik się odzywa;
A dziś śliczne pieśni nasze
Ledwie że kto śpiewa!

Jordan w ziemi Chananejskiej,
Święte ma znaczenie:
W jego wodach Izraela
Lud brał oczyszczenie.

Więc z modlitwą uklęknąłem
W pokorze przed Panem:
Byś się stała, Olzo, takim
I dla nas Jordanem!

A tak kiedyś - gdy nad falą
Wiosną wiatr zawieje,
Wnuk usłyszy w fal twych szumie
Przodków swoich dzieje,

I usiędzie na twym brzegu
dumać nad przeszłością -
I żyć będzie dla swej ziemi
Czynem i miłością!

Bronisław say He give me his woman for Christmas, but she smell like pig!

Metody Jankowiak said...

I am liking men also.

No Good Boyo said...

Pan Jankowiak flatters me, but I'm already spoken for. That beard is intriguing, though, and reminds me of Slavislav Kodoba, the Ruthenian hypernationalist and leader of Socialist Intentionalism. Sadly, as I'm shomer shabbes, I shan't be able to make the Llanelli tryst. Moreover, in the words of the Swansea FC supporters' anthem, "I'd rather fight a Monkey than a Turk" - this being a reference to the rivalry between Cardiff "monkeys" and Llanelli "Turks", rather than any invitation for gorilla bananas to come down and rearrange my ribcage.

M C Ward said...

NGB, I see from your Cluster Map you're successfully entering central and west Africa, and making great strides across swathes of Scandinavia and the former Iron Curtain states. What's the secret, mun? I'm haemorraging subscribers. Should I learn a Slavic language, such as Welch?

No Good Boyo said...

Uncanny, isn't it, especially as I've been dropped from Blogrush for not meeting their stratospheric quality criteria. I pursue two strategies. 1. Post annoying comments on other people's blogs, so that they and their readers will visit yours out of curiosity mixed with vengeance. 2. slip in the odd phrase like "wife-swapping" and "butt bar", which brings in some recherche google searchers. I'm curious as to who my reader in DRCongo is, not to mention the one in Uzbekistan.

M C Ward said...

Sorry to hear about Bogbrush, an altogether bad business. They'll be up in arms down there in Port Talbot, as Bill McLaren might opine. I'm in, for what it's worth. I put "big tits" in my last post, and I think it's worked - subscribers have suddenly skyrocketed again to 15.

No Good Boyo said...

Thanks. I only ever got one referral from Blogrush, and that was one of those American mommies who post about their corn-fed kids, the Wildean wit of their cats and the deep meaning to be gleaned from the a book of spurious cosmology recommended by some daytime TV blimp. I can't imagine what brought her here, but suspect she complained about my devaluing of Aztec traditions and use of the word "spudhand". Ho hum. "Big tits" is certainly the right approach - don't make it too kinky. "Custa[r]d bukkake" has yet to bring me any trade, although it may have given me an idea for a Bravo TV show. Hwyl!

M C Ward said...

Blogrush is odd. I followed a link to some guy's "humorous" blog who wrote a post on how he'd been to a museum, but that he "wasn't really a museum person". People were falling over each other to comment (probably Americans working through their "museum issues"). I ask, has the world gone mad? Dach chi isio panad?

No Good Boyo said...

Hoffai banad ynrhyw bryd, diolch! Beth am wydren o cachaça?

At least this bloke is big enough to admit he can't hack museums. One would assume Americans would "value his candor" and publish a book of testimonials to his emotional courage. Perhaps he should try gay S&M dungeons next, or a Hamas guesthouse.

Ordovicius said...

Rozumiem "y kultusu Cthulhu (Iä, Iä!)", ale nie mowim po Ruthenian. Ond mae taid yn dod o Lviv. Asi que me voy a fumar un porro. Det hat mir der Arzt doch vaschrieben. Aba ernst. Oda nicht? Yo que se. Do zobaczenia.

No Good Boyo said...

Ordo, Duw Duw, Pwyleg neu Iwcrainwr oedd eich taid? Mae nghwraig yn dod o Kyiv. Cymysgliad o Iwcraineg a darnau o ieithioedd eraill yw fy Ruthenian i, nid yr iaeth go iawn sy mond yn dafodiaeth Iwcraineg i ddweud y gwir(ond peidiwch a dweud wrthynt). Blogiau gwych sy gennych chi, a dwi'n edrych ymlaen at wrando ar eich cerddoriaeth. Hwyl.

Lana said...

Great work.