Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Le Mystère de Madame Boyo

That Hague Tribunal, the London School of Tropical Medicine, HM Immigration Service, a wife-swapper from Chippenham - they all ask me the same question: "what's Mrs Boyo like?"

Let me just say this. She's the only person I know who can use the words "Anti-Dühring" and "obvious" in the same sentence and make it sound normal.


Gorilla Bananas said...

She sounds a bit too intellectual for the classic Welsh wife, whom I've always assumed to be short, plump, big-bosomed, with dark hair and eyes.
Is she perhaps a Welsh woman in the Mandy Rice-Davies vein? She was blond, brainy and as sharp as a knife.

No Good Boyo said...

La Davies was indeed one of our finest. More are to be found here, as we perform our savage rites:

I don't like to ask Mrs Boyo too many questions, as the answers I've heard so far scare me. I believe she was born in a castle near Kyiv, Ukraine, where her scientist father pushed at the boundaries of human knowledge. The gurning villagers were not so enlightened, as they advanced up the mountain-track with blazing brands. She just turned up one day and replaced my bank balance with a house and child, agreeing kindly to keep me company "until the wormwood blossoms" or something. I'm not sure what she looks like, as she moves fast and usually addresses me from behind a mound of interior-decoration journals, but I have an overall impression of someone angular yet Wagnerian. Her preferred diet is cranberries and the souls of men. Her mother's hobby is counting people's knuckles, I know that.

M C Ward said...

Does she beat you, even when you haven't been naughty?

No Good Boyo said...

I never let her mother get that close, to be frank, mc.

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